Afraid of being single? Go on a podcast.
When you work in public relations, you often hear the advice (or pass it on yourself), “Never do or say anything you wouldn’t want on the front page of the newspaper.” So why the hell did I go on a podcast to talk about being single?
The best way to overcome your fears is to confront them.
It feels uncomfortable to say that I’m scared of being single, but maybe some of you know what I mean. I don’t particularly want to be single and I also don’t want to be scared of being single, yet both are true. I also don’t want to be that person who makes everyone else miserable just because she is, so I decided not to be miserable and just accept it. While I can’t really change my status on my own, I can own it - and face my fears.
By talking about it. On a podcast.
I figured if something is true, it can’t be that scary to talk about publicly. So when I saw a friend’s Facebook post promoting his friends’ new podcast about dating (shout out for the loose ties!), I saw an opportunity to do something new.
After earning my master’s in communication, I’d been thinking a lot about the communication skills needed in dating (after all, I had a little more free time post-graduation). I thought some basic communication practices offered good tips for the dating experience. When I realized I might have something helpful to offer rather than just complain about how hard dating is, I knew I needed to jump in.
Luckily, the ladies at “I Want You to Want Me” made it very fun and easy. It was almost just like hanging with girlfriends, except with a microphone in front of me (sorry for the bad sound the first few minutes). Well that, and the hyperawareness that this would go on the Internet...with my name on it. And that at some point my mother might hear it (Hi, Mom!).
I went in prepared with some notes for what to talk about: how I’ve had my ideals challenged by relationships (at 38:25), having good manners (I was raised in the South), and ghosting (seriously, don’t be that person...even though I’ve occasionally done it...)
Skip to about 7:45 and the sound gets better, just in time to hear my tips about filtering through online dating apps.
This whole experience made me reflect on who I am, who I want to be and how I want to present myself - in a deeper way than curating my Tinder profile. I can’t worry about a future that’s not here. I’m responsible for me right now, and I get to control how I feel about it.
Meanwhile, enjoy the podcast.